Therapy.

This song sums up everything.


This is something that I hardly ever talk about casually. I usually tend to keep this topic to myself and those who I know I can trust and I feel comfortable with. Right now at this moment I feel the need to just tell the world about my situation, as I'm coming a little more comfortable with it. And besides I doubt hardly anyone reads this thing anyway, so why not?

Anyway, I touched on this in my last blog; my doctor's visit. I didn't go just because of the headaches. For a while now I've been feeling depressed. And I know what most people think: "Ashley, you seem happy all the time. How can you be depressed?" Well the truth is, I know how to put on a brave face. I know how to blend in and not be noticed. I know how to smile even though I feel like breaking down. I also have anxiety/panic attacks on a regular basis and some days I don't even want to get out of bed. So yeah, I'm loony, insane, mad. I'm depressed.

When I saw the doctor he prescribed me some medicine and also referred me to a counselor. I'm nervous about that. I hate talking about myself, my problems, my life. And to know that I'm going to have to spend like an hour or whatever talking about those things scares me. To have to face everything that bothers me and work through everything is like a nightmare. But I know that this is something I have to do. To truly enjoy life I have to get past the things holding me down. That's what I'm going to do. Get rid of all the demons in my closet. Start over. Become a better person. Because do you know what? I deserve it.