I've got to get up for work in about 5 hours but I just had to write. Instead of putting that sudden urge into NaNoWriMo I decided I'd write in my blog again.
It is officially one hour into the month of November. This year has gone by way too fast. I don't know if that's a good thing or if I should be worried that time is slipping away from me. I was working yesterday and totally zoned out for a good 5 minutes. It wasn't until a co-worker noticed that I noticed and that's generally not a good thing. I think I'm just tired. I have a 5 day work week this week and then I'll have my mini-vacation. I can't wait to sit around bored to death! Actually I'm sure those days will be spent trying to finish my 50,000 word novel.
I went to a Halloween party last night dressed as Robin Hood. That was pretty fun. NuNu dressed up as Michael Jackson, Monty was a vampire rapper, D put a pot on her head and went as a pot-head. We're a crazy family, but we sure do have fun. We came home and spent the rest of the night watching Ghost Adventures until we fell asleep.
Today Michael and I went and saw Paranormal Activity 2. It was way better than the first one! I loved it. I'm not going to see another movie until Deathly Hallows comes out. I don't really have the money to. I've gotta go to the doctor and optometrist next week. Fun stuff.
I guess I can wrap it up by saying that I really understand Paramore's lyrics to "Turn it Off" at this point in my life. When that album came out last year I had no idea who I was or what I really wanted to do with my life. I was lost and confused and I was literally rock bottom. I came so close to giving up and not living. It only became worse after Alyssa passed. With some faith, help from some really awesome friends and, I hate to say this because it makes me look lame, Nerdfighteria, I actually found meaning. I know that I'm awesome and I've got something to contribute to this world. I know what your thinking "Ashley, how does that tie in with the lyrics?". . . well this is how.
And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're heading for a cliff
And in the free fall I will realize
I'm better off when I hit the bottom
Before my life could get better I had to know what it was like to be at the bottom. And of course when you hit bottom there is only one direction to go. UP! I'm not saying that I'm completely better or I'm so confident now. I still have my problems and I know I'm a work in progress. I'm okay being imperfect. All that means is I'm human. And not only am I human, but I'm living. Not just breathing, but actually going out into the world. Trying to make a difference and helping people I don't even know.
That's all for me right now. Tomorrow all my spare time will be taken up with trying to write my novel. Wish me luck!
