Apathy has set in really bad lately. I'm not sure if it's the medicine I'm taking or just because I'm so exhausted, but to be honest it's hard for me to really feel emotion. Some days I like it, but it kind of has me scared. I'm happy that I don't have as much anxiety as I have, but I would like to feel something, anything really.
Speaking of anxiety, I had small attack today. I think I handled it well. My chest started hurting and I wanted to cry for no reason, but I got through it without dying. It was the first attack I've had in like a month or so. I hate feeling like I'm crazy or that something is wrong with me. I also hate knowing that I haven't been able to shake this on my own and so I'm having to take medicine every day just to help me get out of bed and face the world with a brave smile.
So that's enough talk about me being crazy and stuff. Let's see here, I saw my mom for the first time in forever the other day! I can't wait until I spend a week with her. THEN going to London. A month can't pass fast enough! I'm just ready to get away from everything for a while. I'm tired and just need time to myself. Anyway, I think this is all I'm going to type for now. I don't know. I'm bored already with writing down my thoughts and trying to communicate how I feel and such. Blah! :)
I leave you with a song I've been pretty much obsessed with lately.
fun. "Be Calm"
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